So this might be a long post. I'm 16 and about to be a junior. Towards the ends of 2017, I felt like I have been going in a spiral that stops sometimes and then plummets. I often cry myself to sleep thinking all these things. Feeling worthless, fat, ugly, a burden and I feel like everyone around me either tolerates me or hates me. It's not a constant thought, I laugh and am slightly happy when around people such as my family and a few friends. But when I'm alone all the thoughts come. At first it was like 1-2 times a month I would think like now it's like every other day. I often hate myself and feel like there really isn't any reason for me to be here. There is no genuine reason for me to go but I don't see reasons to stay. No one knows how I feel, i only told my mom I have a low self esteem. One time I broke down in front of her, she offered advice and asks if I would want to go to a therapist. I said no, I'm fine. I just would feel like a bigger burden making her spend $100 an hour for my minor problems. My mom struggles a lot at work and does a lot of overtime to support us. I don't want to be more of a burden. I feel so selfish that I've been feeling this way. I have family members with actual serious problems. My mom has PTSD from an abusive father(she is not abusive at all towards me), my little sister with autism doesn't have much friends, cousin got kicked out his house because his mom loved her husband more than her son, my uncle's are fighting drug addictions, immigration and custody battles. And my cousins in mexico are suffering in poverty. And I feel like a dumb teenager with raging teen angst. I felt really bad like this in 7th grade and only a few moments in 8th and 9th grade. My best friend got a boyfriend early in the school year and she has made him her top priority. I'm not sad about it and I never would talk about these things with her, but having close friends help distract me from it. I don't know if this is just teenage hormones destroying my mind or an actual mental health issue. Please help, any advice is much needed