I haven't posted much, but what I read is generally really supportive and solid advice so I thought I should give it a try. I put this in the mental health category because honestly I've been incredibly down these last few months about this whole baby thing. I just turned 24 and my hubby is 37. We've been working on a baby for about 3 years now (he has a child from a previous marriage who is now 14). About 4 months ago hubby had a varicocelectomy of the left testicle. The doc said that while his sperm count was low, it wasn't low enough to make pregnancy impossible, just difficult plus there was sensitivity in his testicles. This doctor also advised me to consult a physician because in his expirence, couples often focus on one person that is thought to be the cause of the infertility, while in reality both actually have some underlying issues. So I was told to make sure everything was ship shape. Note, I have no idea what I'm doing beyond managing my personal health and cycle. My whole life I've been taught exclusively how to avoid pregnancy, so the only resource I have is google and that is not always helpful. I didn't know if i should consult my regular gyno or a fertility specialist or what. As a first step, I decided to schedule an appointment with the top rated gynecologist in my area. I get regular exams, but the way my husband's doctor made it sound, it seemed like i needed to actively see if anything is wrong. All of my aunts have had a full hysterectomy before 30, so at this point, I'm freaking out thinking I'm full of a bunch of tumors or something. So, I see the lady. The first thing she does is ask me to take a pregnancy test, and I explain that I'm not getting pregnant, I tell her about my husband's recent procedure and that his doctor advised me to seek out something beyond the standard exam. She then says she can't give me Clomid because of my husband's condition, that it wouldn't make sense to give me something like that if he has a low sperm count. And I was like "ok but I'm not here for that I'm here to make sure I'm ok". But she just keeps going on about how this whole whole process is pointless unless my husband's sperm count can be confirmed to be in normal range. So I left with with no more information than I went in with, just a bunch of referrals to specialists for when me and my husband were "ready". I ugly cried in my car outside of her office because I felt like an idiot. She made me feel so small and stupid. Like I didn't deserve a baby because I couldn't make her understand what the hell I was talking about. But then I started to worry that maybe I AM an idiot. That I was dumb for even going in there. So ladies, what do I do? I just want to make sure I'm ok and that there's nothing wrong with me. My husband is almost 40, and i know that's not very old, but I get so sad when I think about how old he's going to be when our children graduate high school, and that's only if we have a baby right now. I want him to play outside with our babies, not be an older parent that can't fully enjoy his children. Also, I'm very sorry its such a long post, but I really don't have anyone else to talk to about this.