Very odd, uncomfortable feeling.

I have no active memory of being abused. However, the first time I had an orgasm, I got very sick afterwards and I was struck with a sort of muscle memory of the feeling of having one and it made me ill to think about.

Additionally, for as long as I remember, whenever people touch my nipples or play with them, I get this awful disgusting feeling. It makes me nauseous and I want to cry. Does anyone experience this sort of feeling?

I always link it to a non-consensual sexual act. But I feel like it happened at a time when I didn’t understand anything about sex or sexuality