Very Very Long rant.. hate my sil..

I’m gonna post this anonymously cos i have some sneaky relatives in here who i don’t want to involve in my personal life..

It’s gonna be a long rant but please tell

me if u feel i’m just over doing it..

So a bit of a background..

So mine is a love marriage, my husbands dad passed away when he was a child and the mother around 6 years back. He has an elder sister who is 4 years older.

We both r from different religions..

i’m the only child and i’ve been pampered throughout my life.. my parents are very broad and open minded and we have a lot of mix religions in our family.

So.. I know my husband for 5 n half years now.. he is 6 years older to me..

We were dating for 2 years before we decided to marry.. So first we told my parents.. they agreed instantly

cos they knew we were happy..

Next we tried to tell his sister and her husband.. cos he wanted their approval since he has no other family.. and she slammed the phone the first time.. and said no a 100 times later..

We stay in different countries so.. we decided to go and speak upfront to her.. When i went to visit.. she sat for 2 hours trying to explain why we shouldn’t marry and its not gonna work out and everything wrong possible..

Still we told her this is what we want and she said fine she would speak to my parents.. my mum had been calling her and she never took her calls..

So we set a date.. and everything was going well when suddenly my husband tells me he can’t cos she has refused again.. so until she agrees..

I was furious and din speak to him for a week and i blocked him in anger cos i had alrdy told my immediate family of the dates..

a week later.. he apologized and sobbed and said he was going to do it anyway with or without them.. so i told him i wanted a legal court marriage done so i could be sure he won’t back off again.. so we did.. and the condition was he won’t tell his family of it.. cos they wouldn’t understand.. anyhow my parents were there and we did it..

we set another date.. and my mum tried to call her so many times but she din answer cos.. we wanted to know how to contribute and what their traditions were since we were doing it their way. ( i even seen her fb msg to my husband sayin she din pick

my mums calls cos she din kno what to say to her )

in the end all i contributed to the wedding was almost the entire cost.. and nothing was how i wanted.. still i din care cos i jus wanted to be with my SO..

Thing is.. after her marriage.. i guess she had issues with her in laws or they threw her out ( i strongly believe ) and she started stayin at the mothers house.. ( which is now my husbands passed through will.. and she has another property in her name )

She and her husband and her 2 kids now live in our house.. i din care at first ( cos we stay in different countries ) but each time i went to visit she would act weird.. not let me go in the kitchen.. not let me cook.. she wouldn’t cook food herself and we would end up ordering food.. house was a junkyard.. filthy.. fungus on the vegetabled and flies everywhere and smelly and pathetic really.. she wouldn’t let me clean nor would she clean.. she always acted authoritative.. i never said anything cos she’s 10 years older.. i’m 30. so it’s a 3 bedroom.. and mine is the master bedroom.. soon the first year of marriage i found out that she uses my room.. and my cupboard and opens my stuff.. cos i noticed everything was moved around.. i din say anythin cos it wasn’t anything to hide in there and i jus thought.. nevermind..

but each time i went it jus kept getting worse.. she would behave strange and say strange things about the house.. about how she’s gonna live there and never leave ( she said she was leaving when we got married.. )

She has 2 houses.. One which was left behind by the mother and one her husband purchased.. both are locked.. and trust me when i tell u.. they are lovely houses.. and jus 20 mins away..

Oh btw.. she din even have my phone number till after 1 year of marriage..

she never calls me or talks to me or even acknowledges me..

i told my husband all this but.. seems like he’s blind in sibling love.

anyhow.. second year of marriage comes.. I have pcos so i decided to get a lap done for the cyst removal. She din even visit me at hosp.. luckily my parents were there and my husband.. infact the day of my lap.. my parents stayed the night cos apparently

her daughter got fever and she wanted my husband to be home. ( her husband has got a transfer to another state so he was away )

I returned back from hosp 3 days later and she din even come to see me at the door.. she was busy in her room doing some work ( she works from home )

all these things together jus pissed me

off..

Finally this year feb.. i lost it.. she has been using my husbands account for

paying bills and shopping and everything.. like why!!!! use ur own.. use ur husbands.. and she tells me my husband is her soul mate and all crap like my husband is the most important person in her life.. after that her 2 kids and husband..

i think i forgot to mention.. she makes my husband call her everyday .. and if he doesn’t she starts calling and emotionally msging him sayin she doesnt have any other family bla bla..

So.. what i did was.. i called her.. and yelled my mind at her... about everything and that she should leave us alone.. and live her life with her kids and husband and stop bothering us.. and let us have some privacy..

she was shocked and kept telling me i was talking disrespectfully.. and i said .. i dont even care cos u don’t deserve any..

we din talk after that.. and she moved to the other state with her husband.. she still

comes every 2 months to our home for 7-10 days .. uses everything and we pay the bills..

In april i found out i was preg.. it’s our first.. so we were very excited.. and we told my parents and they were on top of the world.. when we told her she din even say congrats..

she hasn’t called me till today.. i’m 20 weeks now.. but she makes sure my husband calls her..

my husband is very attached to her elder daughter .. she’s 12 now.. cos he took care of her when she was a baby.. he treats her like his own.. but the younger one he doesn’t bother..

we buy everything they need even though both sil and her husband are working and having good jobs..

i still never complained about this..

my worry is.. we’re having a girl too.. will my husband care as much as he does for her daughter ?

baby is due in dec.. and he has alrdy expressed he wants to visit them in may.. but i don’t want to go.. i don’t want to see her.. i don’t want her to even touch my child...

i tried talking to my husband about all this but he gets very offensive since it’s his only family and he tells me that i wouldnt understand their bond cos i don’t have a sibling..

but cmon.. she’s 40.. why won’t she leave us the hell alone.. she’s so filthy too.. and keeps using his cash as if it’s hers..

i get severe anxiety thinking about all this..

is my baby’s future going to be secured ?

sometimes i get thoughts that i’m having such a bad time.. is my baby gonna have a bad time too.. for sure they gonna say like

mother like child.. and ill treat the baby..

i’ve told my parents and my mom says just one thing “ pack ur bags and leave “ but.. that’s not the solution..

my husband is very nice to me.. and very helpful.. he’s a good man but he is blinded by this woman.. she acts like an angel in front of him so he doesnt even know how she treats me.. but fortunately my parents seen it..

when i tell him about her behavior .. he says yes.. fine.. i have a bad sister and a bad family.. what should i do! disown them ?

he gets upset and angry so i don’t talk about it.. but the thoughts r killing me..

like she has time to change her whatsapp dp everyday but not one text askin about me or the baby..

sometimes i think she’s mentally unwell.. or maybe they hiding something from me.. she never even visits her inlaws or calls them and her husband goes to visit his family alone.. they are jus 20 mins away..

Am i just over thinking or is she really evil?

Sorry it’s so long but i don’t know who else to share with for advise..

Update 1 : I dont know about incest because he doesn’t seem like that.. nor does she.. but she just wants him for her.. everyone sees that.. even his friends.. she calls him son sometimes.. so i think she’s kinda emotionally brainwashed him into thinking shes the mother now and needs to be involved in his life. Her husband is acting like a total sissy and not stopping this! Infact once.. i told her husband that why they so weird ( SO and she had an argument and she was crying ) so he told me.. i tried but i’ve realized its best to just leave both brother sister alone..

Regarding setting up different bank accounts.. that’s the first thing i did after marriage.. so the account she has access to.. is now on 0... and we only send money to our joint accounts which she doesn’t have access to. But she asks for things anyway.. and since we apparently working “ abroad “ we are richer in her mind.

I’ve told his best friends about this and they said they know .. they don’t really like her but respect her just cos she’s elder and my SO’s sister.. so they help her out with small chores.. They even expressed to him in front of me to my SO about how they feel it’s only right that she leaves.. she doesn’t need to live in that house or with us..

Thanks guys for listening to me.. I was starting to think I was insane to think something is not right..