Hi everyone. I want to see some different perspectives on getting over a fear. Here’s my story (I will try to keep it quick!)

I ride horses competitively. 2 years ago I had a horrible fall while competing. The disciple of riding that I do is called Eventing and there are 3 phases you and your horse need to complete. My horse and I were unable to complete the cross country phase due to a horrible fall at one of the last jumps. He was too strong running at the fence and couldn’t get his legs out of the way in time. The momentum of us slamming into the jump rotated him over the fence and I went flying face first into the ground over his neck. My horse was okay - I blacked out and ever since then I strongly dislike cross country. What’s the point in risking you and your horses life jumping solid objects?

I train at an intense show barn where the motto is basically you sink or swim. After this fall I was absolutely terrified. My trainer had kept pushing me past my fear and I was pushed back into competing again from the pressure. I absolutely hated it. I used to have a passion for competing and now it ties my stomach in knots.

I cracked from the pressure and quit riding for 3 months. I refused to go to the barn and put up with this.

I couldn’t take it anymore and decided to go back to my horse, I missed him. I started riding again and am trying to just take things slow. It’s my first week back and I’ve been forced into 4 cross country lessons already. I tried to say no, but was totally pressured into it. I tried to talk to my trainer and I told him I don’t want to event anymore and I don’t want to do cross country anymore either. He told me that I need to keep working at it and we are going to keep doing it every week. What are your thoughts on this? I know for a fact that I don’t want to pursue this discipline of riding. Why should I keep working at my fear of cross country if it’s not something I want to do? Should I still get over it regardless if I don’t care to pursue it?

This is my horse and I at a competition doing cross country. These jumps are solid! No room for error. Why risk it?