I need some advice.

I’ve been in relationship with manipulative narcissist, with no empathy and he still have problems with drugs. I was beging him to stop, when I found out I was pregnant and we decided to keep our baby. He never did. He was happy at first (because he can “make kids” and was really proud of that not actually happy about having a baby).

He doesnt care how I feel or care about my needs. The whole world is spining around him and he is so mean.

And yet i still decided to stay with him.

After all I was the one who tried to be “saviour” because I really care about him and his feelings and I was covering my eyes all the time and did not want to admit that I am suffering and feeling so low.

We broke up few weeks ago. I am 21 weeks pregnant and he told me he never loved me, and never will. And the only thing that maybe he will take care of (depends on how i will be acting towards him- if i will deserve it) “his” child.

I am so sad. I gave all I could to save this relationship. But forgot to love myself.

I have support, job....

But I have one question.

Have any of you experienced a relationship and raising child with that type of person?

He don’t know how to communicate all he does is talking nonsense and threatening that he will take my child because I am not grown up enough and that I am putting myself in stressful situations and if anything happens or if I ever abort him/her, its going to be my fault.

One day he wanted me to abort baby the other day he threatened with court. He dont know what he talks about sometimes, and he changes his mind so quickly.

I dont know what to do after giving birth.

If i should let him be in delivery room or not and things like that...

I left him because it was enough.

I was suffering all my childhood because of alcoholism of my father and I never want to put my kid in my shoes.

Sometimes it feels like baby was one of the things on his wish list but didnt think about what it actually takes to raise a kid.

He told me that this is a punishment (staying alone with baby and not having support from him when i need the most) for all the bad things i’ve done to him and I’ve literally havent done anything. He makes up stories in his head and then acuses me of everything. I cant have male friends, he hates my family and also his. I had to cut off all of them just to be his marionette.

I think that a child needs both of parents, but I dont know how this will work because I cant count on him and trust him, he’s not stable at all. He is such a toxic person, was also agressive towards me (emotionally, physically, verbally) and I dont want someone like that near my baby. And he is also threatening me that if I ever come up or work against him and tell anyone about cocaine I should really be worried about my life and my family. And I dont imagine him being high around baby or taking him away from me. I am so scared. I was scared to leave, now I left. And now I’m scared he will harm me or my baby because I dont know how insane he can be and how low he can go.

any advices?

Thanks a lot.