Okay, ladies. This may be a long and confusing post and for that I apologize.

I have been with my childs father for almost 3 years now. About 3 months into our relationship (before I got pregnant) I decided to go through his phone for the first time because I just had an odd feelings.. well I found texts between him and a girl calling her sexy and stuff like that and apparently the had sex years ago too. I confronted him and stupidly gave him another chance. So throughout my pregnancy, I kept finding shit on his phone when I got the chance... and courage...to go through it. I always found him talking to girls on snapchat and obviously never knew what was said... but they'd be best friends and shit. (i know im crazy.).. ANYWAY. I will admit, I was crazy when I was pregnant.. I had 0 trust for him. So I checked his stuff as often as I could. He doesn't know I have his Instagram password so I can still log into it. When I was pregnant, I found msgs between him and his bestfriend talking about how hot all these girls twerking on ig was (not a huge deal to me) but my bf was talking about how he wanted them to sit on his face (too far) .. okay anyway again.. I never trusted him and shit was terrible when I was pregnant. Our son is 19 months old now and I thought things were ok between us. Not perfect, but ok. (Things are rocky bc we live in a cluttered house with his gma, brother and his on and off again gf, 3 dogs, us, and the baby... so its hard. but we are under contract on our own beautiful home so things were getting better).

So about a year ago on my bfs bday, we were gonna go out with our son and enjoy his day. I had a curious feeling that day while getting ready.. so I checked his insta and saw him talking to some girl and calling her sexy. she even said "... his name... why do you always msg me and flirt when you have a girlfriend " .. so I said nothing bc it was his bday and all that. when i did mention it, he said basically he wouldn't talk to her again and she was "def not sexy".. So one more "story" before I get to the real point.. maybe a year ago ish.. we went to his friends house to hang out and all that fun stuff. I had my son and I am the only one that watches him and stuff. He was like 6 or so months old this time. Everyone was drinking (except me obviously) and there was some girl that was living there at the time who was dating another friend of my bfs who was also living there. First time I had met her. And she was totally his type. He was super drunk that night and before leaving, I put my son in the carseat, went out and started the truck and went back in for him and baby.. he wasnt in there.. so I walk down the hall and all I saw was her back up from him super fast and him against the wall and I walked away. I assume they were making out. He still says he doesn't remember.

anyway, so last weekish, I woke up to a msg from some fake fb saying he had cheated on me. I ask him about it and he denies it 5 times and even swore on our sons life. finally he tells me that he had sex with this girl after work while I was home in bed while he was suppose to be doing homework. idk i still dont have a straight clear story on this situation. So I go home for a week to think. the other day i went thru his phone for the first time in forever.. and i found he changed the girls name he fucked on snapchat and his contacts to a mans name (and other girls too that he was suppose to delete) and i also found a convo on snap between him and a girl i dont even know.. and one chat was saved and it was his. he said to her "embarrassing enough.. just makes me wanna fuck you that much more" so i imagine they were sexting. the date on those chats were 2 days before he fucked the other girl (this was a different one). i confronted him abt that too and he acted like he didnt rem and all this. then basically apologized. i tried to break up w him but he CRIED and begged and he NEVER DOES THAT. he has never cried to me or anything.. he keeps saying he made a mistake and was sorry and he fucks everything up and itd never happen again and he wants one last chance. idk what to do..

also. he cheated on his ex ALL THE TIME too. but apparently she cheated on him too? so idk.

I know this is so long and shit and im so sorry!!!