sex after rape

ive never had sex before being raped so idk if this is a dumb question:

so when my boyfriend kisses my neck or sucks on my nipples or even kisses down my stomach and thighs, it feels good but it's not like i FEEL everything or like every kiss drives me crazy. i really do love him but i feel like there's a feeling inside me that's too numbed to completely enjoy it.

is it because of the trauma or is it normal to feel this way?

im only asking because of what ive read in books and even a some posts on this app.

i know not everything i read is realistic but i just wanna know if it's normal ir not because when i kiss my boyfriends neck or down his stomach, he breaths heavier than i do and clearly enjoys it.