I had two dye runs two days in a row. I really thought they were faint positives. I called my dr and went for blood work yesterday and it was negative. HCG is less than 1. I really thought this was it. I really thought we conceived. I have FULLY learned my lesson about looking for positives. No more line searching, photo tweaking, or checking a test multiple times. If two big thick pink lines aren’t slapping me in the face on my next test - in the trash it goes - and about my day I will go.

When you go from seeing a dark pink line set against a stark white background day in and day out for months, and u finally spot something, your heart skips a beat. And unfortunately for me, when my heart skipped a beat it must have completely shut my brain off with it.

Not only does it hurt me that once again we’re not pregnant but I’m also embarrassed. I’m embarrassed that I posted the below pics to the community and people had to weigh in on them. I’m embarrassed that I called my drs office holding back tears at the possibility that we may finally have the start of a pregnancy.

This was also so unnecessarily hard on my husband. He saw the lines and really thought this was it. He was crying with excitement two days ago and today crying with heart break. He is mourning a pregnancy we never even had and it was totally within my control to just throw the tests away and not show him. Not ask if he was seeing what I’m seeing. To just move on because it was unclear or even wait a few hours and retest. I feel bad he’s hurting today and i feel bad that I’m hurting and even worse, it’s all my fault.