Hi everyone. I’ve never ever posted in a military group before, but I figured this would be the best group to get some responses. Long story warning

A few months ago, I caught my husband flirting with an underage girl on Facebook. Naturally, I kicked him out. I gave him a chance, and we tried to work on our family. The same night he came home, I found messages on his phone with a group chat stating that he wasn’t happy being there with me and our daughter, that he just wanted to be out smoking weed and getting drunk, and he wanted to find someone to love him through that. So, I officially told him that our marriage was 100% over. We decided to wait for our income taxes to start the procedure so that financially, it wouldn’t be as hard on us. Before you say it, I didn’t give up easily. We spent 8 hears together, 2 of those married. He worked minimum wage at a pizza place, and never even learned to drive a car..so, the marriage had many other issues beyond this.

About a month ago, I met someone else. He’s in the Army, and he’s friends with my sister. We went out a few times, and we really hit it off! Out of respect to my legal husband, I did tell him. I told him that it wasn’t serious, but I felt that it had the potential to be, and I felt that he should know. He was completely fine with it. Even messaged the other guy with well wishes for the both of us.

Over the past week, he’s messaged with personal questions, trying to pry into my relationship. So, when I received the message yesterday asking if we were going to have kids, and stating that he’ll never be the father of my daughter, and she’ll be treated differently, I lost it. I swore at him, and told him that he’s a deadbeat..because he is. He sent some possibly threatening messages, so I blocked him, and moved along.

About an hour later, the other guy gets a call asking if he’s familiar with the rules of adultery in the Army. He was advised to seek legal aid, and they’ll determine the outcome of all of this on the 28th.

A few facts

-we were never openly in an official relationship, nor did we tell anyone that it was official

-adultery by definition is the actual act of inter course while married..which can’t be proven that we’ve ever slept together

-we have made a couple Facebook and Snapchat posts about each other, but even in the pictures we shared, it was just the other person..we’ve never even shared pictures of us hugging.

My question: has anyone ever had to deal with this? What are the consequences that we’re looking at here? Given the facts, is it really THAT serious? We’ve never done/shared anything inappropriate that would even remotely make the military’s image look bad.