Why can’t it just happen?

For 2 years my husband and i have been trying to have another baby. I had to have my second Leep procedure done last May and i knew it was my last chance to get pregnant before/if the cancer comes back and i have to have a full hysterectomy. We’re using Pre seed, fertilaids, and opks. I really thought this round was it but I’ve been cramping since last night and I’m supposed to start tomorrow, i really wanna believe that af won’t come but I’ve been so discouraged today. A new family doctor told me today that she won’t do a Pap smear or blood test because she thinks I’m gonna start my period tomorrow although she didn’t even check anything one me. Then a friend pretty much said she thinks I’m gonna start tomorrow as well. I just wanna cry so badly in a corner. I have some many pregnancy symptoms but no BFP. I know no one will even respond to this post and that’s why i made it anonymously since every time I’ve posted in the past i can’t even get a upvote or any support. I just really needed to vent.