So, I'm not even sure if I should still be in this group, technically, but you girls have been so kind and supportive and, well, I need you. I don't want to say it's over until it's over. 🤞🏻😞

Some of you may remember my posts from over the course of the last few days/weeks. I wrote about being 5w2d, 3d, 4d, etc. I was experiencing your "typical" early pregnancy symptoms (got my BFP at 4w, EDD 4/13/19). On the 5w5d mark I started having some pretty severe cramps, but no bleeding - thank goodness. However, due to my previous high risk pregnancy and complications, I felt that if the cramps didn't subside, I would want to see my OB regardless.

Last Wednesday afternoon, at exactly 6w0d, the pain got so bad that I took myself to the ER (my OB was not in the office but his nurse was and that's what she advised). The ER doctor did a blood draw and ordered an ultrasound (first abdominally and then transvaginally). My blood results came back rather quick and showed my hCG levels at 1,945 (was 50.2 at 4w, and 176 at 4w4d). About 2 hours later he finally got around to reading my scans. He brought me over to his computer to show me the images and went on to say he "sees nothing" (no sac, no yolk, no fetal pole) and "suspects a potential threat of ectopic pregnancy". He then went on to point out my cyst ridden ovaries and what he suspects is a gest sac "outside of my uterus". That's when I just tuned out. My mind went blank and I asked to be sent home. Two hours later, I was provided with my discharge paperwork and told to follow up with my OB within 24 hours or come back to the ER if I begin to bleed.

Pure sadness and terror. I went home to my husband around 11:30pm and explained what was going on (he needed to stay home with our 2.5 y.o. DS). He is sad, too - of course. We called my OB's office as they have a 24-hour scheduling service and I explained our situation. They fit me in for the next morning, Thursday 8/16/18, at 10am.

I saw my OB on Thursday morning and he reviewed the reports from the hospital to reveal that the repost DOES IN FACT SHOW A INTRAUTERINE GEST SAC. 6mm. No sign of a fetal pole or yolk sac, but there IS a small gest sac right where it should be. That is not what the ER doctor told me, but I trust my OB with my life. Literally. He then did a pelvic exam to check for signs consistent with 6 weeks, which he confirmed looks positive, and also checked the cysts. As of Thursday he said there is no major concern for ectopic, and has hope and his fingers crossed that it was simply too early to see anything just yet. He is pleased with the progression of my hCG levels, but ordered another blood draw for 2 days later (today, Saturday, 8/18/18). I will have those results hopefully on Monday and we are looking for a number around 3,500 or more. Based on the results, if he is happy with my levels my next scan will be in 2 weeks, at the 8 week mark. If concern is still there, he'll be seeing me sooner.

I've been testing every day like a maniac, just to see the lines darken. I know this won't indicate the viability of the pregnancy... but it helps for a bit. Am I alone?

Has anyone else been through this? Have you failed to see anything at your 6 week scan, if you had one, and then see a healthy embryo IUP and heart beat at about 8 weeks? I'm dying to hear a success story. I really, really need the hope. We've been TTC for about 2 years, and like all of us, we just want this so, so, so badly. I don't know how I'm going to make it the next few days without losing my mind.

Please tell me there's a chance. 💔

PS - if you read all of this, thank you so much.