when i was 15-16 i had anorexia. nobody in my family really cares about me so nobody ever noticed (im being truthful here, my childhood was terrible). i went to therapy for depression and anxiety, and she started to notice so thats how i know, she helped me overcome it. i am now 3 weeks pp and exclusively pumping, and my fiance's family (they treat me just like family) has been helping me. but the issue is, is that they always tell me i need food in my system and higher calorie foods to produce enough and it secretly really bothers me. like thinking about eating high calorie foods all day worries me about gaining weight from it, but i want to give my son the best possible so i try my best to eat snacks and higher calorie foods. i also noticed that i started only finishing half of my plate again, no matter the size of the portion. i really dont want to relapse, but the weight i gained from being pregnant bothers me because i cant work it off until my 6 week appointment (i gained 15lbs). what should i do? my fiance knows i have odd eating habits but i havent told him about having anorexia before. my blood family always told me i was over reacting to everything so i never told them or anybody else besides my therapist. please dont judge, this is a pretty hard thing for me to do, reaching out and telling people. thats why im anon.

thank you