Letting go again seems so hard to do ☹️

I fell for it again and got the same outcome. The man that I have been with for almost 3yrs has let me down agin and I let it happen. His charming and manipulative behavior is what brought me back and my love I had for him. I discovered so many things about him that he hide from me. I found out that he had been cheating on me back in May of this year and I also discovered his battle with his sexuality. He left his email open after going to pick up a car from one of his 4 baby’s mothers. Yes 4 kids and 4 different mothers. I looked past a lot and have forgiven a lot. Even when he lied to me about the 4th child after we got together. Moving forward to more current events he’s in jail right now due to a fight that we got in a few days ago and I am struggling with how I feel for him. I truly do love this man and he has good qualities but he does terrible sneaky things. It was devastating to read that he had wrote to another woman that he couldn’t help the fact that he wants to be “topped” by a “transwoman”. It felt like I was dying inside and yet I found a way to forgive him. Hell I found a way to forgive him for so many things that I know I’m a dumbass for and it’s all because I love him. My fear is leaving yet again and he finds a way to charm be right back into his life. When we last separated I started seeing a really good man that I ended things with just to be with his ass. I’m being completely transparent with this post and I want to divulge more but what is the point when what was written so far is bad. I’ll accept all the feedback that I will probably get.