My bf and I had a blow up this morning.. and he called me a stupid ass and whatever else. In the past I was in an extremely abusive relationship. I’ve been called and told much worse than this. But I told myself I wouldn’t allow that to happen again. I value myself so much more, and feel like this has crossed a boundary for me. We do have a child together and another on the way. But what should I do? Its unacceptable to me, but yet at the same time I’m thinking it doesn’t even come close to some of the things I’ve endured in the past. What if I talk to him about my concerns and he brushes it off, he usually says it’s because of me and I shouldn’t have did this or that. I’m always apologizing even when I don’t feel wrong because otherwise he won’t move on from the situation and sulk for days. I just want a happy and healthy relationship. I love him and want to be with him and get married, but I don’t want to be someone’s puppet or punching bag. I’m my own person, I have my own life, likes, and dislikes.

A little into this mornings blow up. My daughters first day of school for 2nd grade. We decided days ago we would get donuts this morning. My bf wakes up in the afternoon, so he was on the fence about getting up early with us to take her to school. Anyway, he’s up, so he goes with us. I tell him let’s go to the donut shop and he’s like we don’t have time for that. Of course I disagree, the timing was fine. I told him she hasn’t had breakfast, this was our plan with or without him, so we’re going. He’s like well that was dumb, who’s fault is that. I’ll decide if we’re going. Mind u the school is 2 mins away, the donut shop 2 mins from her school if your driving slow. So we get to the school and he’s like we don’t have time. It’s about 8:10, bell rings at 8:25. So we have 15 mins to get to donut shop, get a donut and get back to the school. He’s annoyed, talking crap to me, in front of my daughter. I told him he can go back home we don’t need his attitude this morning. Anyway long story short, we go to the donut shop, even with him driving super slow trying to sabatoge our timing so he can be right. Get to the donut shop, eat there and make it back to the school in time for her to line up. Bell rings.. teachers out doin yard duty, so it takes her about another 5 mins. I get in the car and he’s like don’t ever talk to me like that in front of her again🧐 I told him thanks for ruining her first day of school. Next time he’s not coming with us. He tells me it was a dumb idea, I was ill prepared as always, I didn’t feed her breakfast, that’s my fault, I’m a stupid ass for idk what he said. Idk.. idk..

I know I should talk to him, but like I said he never agrees with me and I always end up apologizing just to move on. But I don’t call him names, he shouldn’t have said what he said. He said something else too that struck a chord but I don’t remember what it was.

So my question is, how do you move on from this and it get better not worse. I’m starting to think we might just be going in different direction. Like yesterday, I said “I want to do a movie night tonight, before she goes back to school tomorrow” he’s like why, that’s dumb, why do you always feel like you have to do something. (Umm hello, I’m a mother and want to make these experiences fun and memorable for my children). If he doesn’t want to do it, fine.. but don’t say it’s dumb. My aunt had a pool party , to end the summer and send the kids back into the new school year, and of course he thinks it’s dumb. But he always goes with me, just to make me feel hurried and ok are you ready to go now we’ve been here long enough. Like just stay home if you didn’t want to come in the first place. Mind you we go to his parents house every weekend to hang out and visit with his family. I actually love it.. but anytime I mention I want to take the kids to the zoo, the park, stuff like that. He’s like today??? Not today.. and we never end up going. Cause he feels like he has to go everywhere with me. Yet puts a damper on it with his attitude... .. anyway this is getting too long. U get the point. If you’ve gone through something similar please share. I’m at a crossroads I feel.. 😔