Anxiety

The past few weeks have been filled with anxiety, fear, excitement. I've been on my lupron since the 4th. I started my follistim and menopur on the 13th. My follicles today are at 16×16. Doc upped my menopur today and tomorrow. Hoping Friday my follicles are at 18 like they want. Hopefully I'll be able to take my ovidrel shot Friday and egg retrieval will be on Sunday.

My husband and I laugh each day. We joke each day is the side effect lottery. Between the exhaustion, diarrhea, constipation, nausea, lightheadedness, and dizziness. Everyday has been something different and I'm pretty sure some of the symptoms are psychological from my fear of needles. I joked with my mom that I have new respect for my sister-in-law with diabetes having to deal with needles like these every day.

After 13 years of failed attempts to get pregnant, I'm scared even IVF and ICSI won't work. I'm praying it works, but at the same time I am trying not to get my hopes up.

I don't want to be disappointed yet again. So many emotions going on right now. I don't even know how to express.

Also weighing on me is that my best friend is pregnant with twins currently and I'm throwing her baby shower next Saturday. I just finally got to a point where I was comfortable with her being pregnant and being there for her before my husband got me to agree to IVF. I know it's just the anxiety but I don't want to disappoint anyone. I want her to have an amazing baby shower and don't want to screw it up because of my emotions.

So that's my story so far and my emotional state. Best of luck to everyone else going through this too.