Evolution of Feelings

so theres this guy who i genuinely care so much for, and i wrote in my notes on my phone about it and i’m afraid to show anyone else bc i don’t want them to think i’m crazy 😂 so i hope y’all enjoy me spilling my feelings.

sophomore year

i started developing feelings. i could see sparks in your eyes. i loved how passionate you were about things you loved. i love how you walking into a room could brighten everyone’s day. how just your laugh filled a room with joy. i wanted to be able to call you mine, but i didn’t have the courage to say it.

junior year

i got to know you better. met your family. saw the love you have for them as they do to you. i shared memories with you from school. i saw the fire in you start to die out. i saw her take away the passion you had once before. it killed me to see you that way. to see the spark that was once in your eyes slowly fade out. she sucked the life out of you. at once she made you happy, but in the end i saw a different you.

senior year

the feelings came back, the timing felt right. your spark was still faded from the former relationship, but the relationship is gone. which means the sparks should reform. i wanted to be the one to help you re-find that spark, re-kindle that flame. be you again. as i built up the courage and told you the feelings i’d developed you told me you needed to find yourself. i understand, you do. but god i wish i could be along for the ride. but here i’ll be. waiting. i want to see the spark again, see your passion. but that won’t happen with me in the way, so i understand. but know that i’m here once that spark is back.

it breaks me apart to know how much you’ve been hurt. how much pain she put you through. i want to show you the difference. show you the love you deserve. but healing is crucial. i need you to heal.