Is it selfish?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been going through a really hard time. We usually go out on the weekends and have a good time together but since I've gotten pregnant all we do is stay home. Lately he has been wanting to go out. We get into big argument about him wanting to go out and that I can't really go out and drink like we used to. Is it selfish of me to ask him to stay home with me? We are both feeling a little trapped in the house but I feel like it is not fair that he gets to go out and have a good time will I have to sit at home and be pregnant you got me this way so I feel like you should be at home with me. Your input would be greatly appreciated thanks ladies.

Answer

Go out with him ? Just do what you've always done and drink soft drinks . You'll need baby sitters for going out in a few months so take advantage while you still can x

Answer

I don’t see any problem with him wanting to go out
Me and my parter used to go out most weekends pre pregnancy, and although he doesn’t go out as much, he still goes out
You both got yourself pregnant but that doesn’t mean you have to spend all of your time together, sometimes a bit of time apart is good. I love my boyfriend, but think if I spent every second with him every weekend he’d drive me mad 😂😂

Answer

I get why you feel this way and I know I have felt this way and argued with my hubby too. But as long as it’s not every weekend and it’s planned in advance then you should let him go but don’t sit at home envious, make plans. Also why can’t you go out? I know you can’t drink but you can still dance and have fun and talk to people. Why don’t you go out next time but agree a 9/10pm cut off to go home together that way you’re both together having fun and hey no taxi you can drive! x

Answer

I’d let him go out, it’s all about compromise.
You both need your time, you might want yours at home but he doesn’t so he needs the time to do what he likes as well.
Changes happen slowly, and a baby will be a big enough change.

Answer

My partner has a dungeons and dragons group that he goes to every Monday night, he usually goes around 4-5pm and gets home around 10-11pm and I'm usually already asleep so I don't see much of him those days because I work mon-fri. 
The way I see it is that Monday nights are his time with friends to have a break from me and my hormones 😂 but I also get to have whatever I want for dinner and I can watch movies that he doesn't like or just spend some quality time by myself, it's my 'me time' and I love it (most of the time). 
Although we will also go out to eat or go watch a movie or something maybe once a fortnight so we're still spending quality time together before baby comes 😊

Answer

Depends where he is going? I don't think any good comes from a married person sitting at a bar without their spouse.

Answer

I don’t actually agree with everyone else here....my fiancé is more than welcome to go to his friend’s or go get coffee or whatever but outside of a couple beers at game night he isn’t going out and drinking without me. Before we decided to have this baby we agreed that if we do get pregnant we are not going to (obviously) have to grow up in certain areas. He has NEVER (even before pregnancy) gone to the bar without me and isn’t about to start now. When the baby comes he would’ve had to stop anyway. So no, I don’t think it’s selfish if it’s occurring frequently. It’s selfish of him to go out and spend money on alcohol when he has a baby on the way and a pregnant woman waiting for him at home. That’s just my opinion. 
But I agree with everyone else saying he does get to spend time with friends and have some free time still. But it needs to be kept respectful to the family he’s growing. And you should get out as much as you can while you can too. Go with him if possible sometimes or go see a movie while he’s gone.

Answer

Just because you decide not to go out doesn’t mean he shouldn’t. Now I don’t think he should be going out getting wasted every weekend, but if he wants to go out he should go out. He (you both, really) also needs to find things that don’t involve drinking that you enjoy. Once the baby comes you’re stilll not going to be going out drinking very much. Find things you can do together to get out of the house.

Answer

With my first pregnancy, we still went out when I was pregnant. Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you have to sit home. I was the designated driver, we would go out with friends and most bars give free soda to the DD so I had a ton of free ginger ale :) this time around, we have a baby at home so once in a while he has a guys night, and sometimes I have a girls night out (again they drink and I get ginger ale). It’s important to go out and enjoy yourselves or you will burn out. We do date nights out with our baby and it keeps me from getting cabin fever (I’m a stay at home mom).

Answer

I dont see why he shouldnt go out. And when he does, you should go to a friends house and watch a movie and do nails. My husband goes out maybe every other weekend and i stay home working on projects so to me thats normal. Its good to spend time doing your own thing and he'll be a happier person to be around if he can go let out some stress

Is it selfish?

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