What to do? (Please read all NEED ADVICE!)

I dated my ex all through high school. He was my high school sweetheart ❤️. He was my first everything & i was so in love. We had a baby my senior year. I walked across the stage six months pregnant. We went through a lot when I got pregnant his parents were more accepting then mine of course bc he’s a man (19 at the time & I was 17) my parents felt like I was stopping my future if I had my baby and my dad said some unforgivable things to me & him. I got past it of course bc he’s my dad but him not so much which I hated bc the idea of two men I love getting along was very important to me ( but on the other hand me and my dad don’t have the best relationship). Anyways fast forward to this time last year I had my son and I felt like things weren’t going as they should with him bc he wasn’t consistently working and starting to be controlling and angry about things. I felt it was selfish as a father to not keep a job knowing you have someone to take care of so I was really frustrated with the relationship. Also when he got upset thing got out of turn nothing physical but his words got very hurtful 😢. I set down with him and expressed that if things didn’t change I would leave. Of course as men do he changed for like a month then he was back to cussing and fussing.. I met a guy at work and he was so sweet and a good friend. He seemed to be showing me everything I wanted from my man. Then I started to get confused and wonder have I been missing out and settling for this man bc he is all I know?? My relationship was so dead at the time it was like we had a baby & a title that’s it. It was very difficult bc I always imagined being with one person forever despite the way other kids were at my school opening their legs for anything and anyone. But the way everything was going I started to feel like it was too good to be true. Long story short months go by I’m hanging out with the guy behind his back and we end up sleeping together. I felt so low about my self bc I felt like I just threw all my beliefs and dreams out the window and of course also I felt terrible bc I never thought I would be a cheater in my LIFE ! I couldn’t belief myself and I know cheating is wrong I’m not here making excuses for my actions I wish I could take them back. Of course he found out and was heartbroken but still wanted to be a family but I told him it wasn’t the time which it wasn’t bc I know him and he would’ve kept throwing in my face and we wouldn’t have been able to move on bc it was too soon from when it happened and also I did like the guy bc like I said he was showing me things thing my bf wasn’t/hadn’t. Months later he’s showing me pictures of a girl and I tell him to go for it even tho I still loved him bc I wasn’t ready to get back with him at the time and didn’t know if I would ever be. And I clearly knew that was him telling me he was about to move on so here’s my last chance but I couldn’t hold him back to wait on me to be ready after I had already broken him. He even tried to get back with me saying he would drop her at any moment when they first got together but i told him no bc I did/ always will love him and i didn’t want to take him back unless i was sure that it was him i wanted for the rest of my life. Now they are 8 months in a relationship and we have been talking again 🤦🏾‍♀️ I feel bad for her but at the same time I feel like she should know not to get in a relationship with someone who just had a baby and the feelings are still fresh but I guess when you like somebody you don’t think about that. She caught us texting and saw him telling me he still loves me but she’s still with him I guess she’s in denial but he told me she asks does he still have feelings for me all the time of course he lies and tells her no bc now he’s trying to save her feelings. We have been spending time together lately to see if the connection is still there before we both just drop everything for each other. Today we had sex & I know your thinking girl get it together but he’s the father of my child and baby just turned one and he was my first and we’ve been through sooo much in those 4 1/2 years you wouldn’t believe . But when we kissed today I felt something I never felt before not even when we were together. And when we had sex it just felt like idk everything all in one. I honestly didn’t know if I would ever feel this way about him again but I do plus more & he said he felt it too. We both don’t know what to do and he feels terrible bc he can’t just leave her this girl has nothing when they got in a relationship it’s like she put everything in them being couple (which you should never do unless your married) so he doesn’t know what to do also of course he has grown to care about her but of course it’s not on the level he cares about me. We’re both just confused and don’t know what to do & he hates that he could be making her feel how I made him feel. I’d feel terrible if this girl had no where to go also. Our love never died for each other it just ended momentarily in the worst way. I know I didn’t ask any particular questions but I just wanna hear you guys’ thoughts. Only question I have is when we were having sex today I got emotional and cried during. I think maybe because I’m realizing how much I love him and want him in my life but maybe you can give a better answer. Also feel free to ask more questions.