TTC after loss

I suffered the loss of my first pregnancy early this July. After some soul searching my partner and I decided that we were going to start trying. (Our first pregnancy was a surprise.)

I’m not sure why.... but I was CONVINCED that we would just get pregnant first try. I read all these things saying you’re more fertile, etc.

I took a test last night and sobbed when it came back negative. Like too my soul cried.

I can’t help but feel like there’s something wrong with my body and that it’ll just never happen again.

I think I’ve decided to stop charting and being obsessed about ovulation time frames... even though I only have for a month lol

Is that crazy? We want a baby. But I can’t handle the let downs. It’s like the hole in my heart right now.