Boyfriend changes mind..?

Question

So, my boyfriend and I have been having unprotected sex for about 4 months now . We’ve talked about have kids and starting a family together, have a future.... When all the sudden after a wonderful vacation with just the two of us, he pulls out? He usually would talk to me about this type of thing first and not just do it.  Obviously after 4 months of the opposite finish in bed I was thrown off guard and certainly questioned him about this... His reasoning behind it was he thinks we should enjoy our time together and not rush into having a baby right away, he doesn’t want either of us to end up as a single parent... I’m still really confused and honestly kinda hurt by this. The way he’s been acting lately makes me feel like I might not have a future with him at all. What scares me even more is that we live together, share bills (phone, furniture etc), as well as share a bank account. I know there’s a possibility I’m over reacting, but I just want to know how you ladies would feel about this sudden, dramatic change in your man.

Answer

Maybe the vacation made him realize he just wants to enjoy time as a couple for a little bit longer, like he said. The “single parent” comment could be offensive if taken the wrong way, but it’s possible he meant he’d like to take other steps to ensure you were both committed first (like marriage). I know not all couples get married, but it does make certain things like health insurance easier. Talk to him about it again if you are still unsure and try not to let yourself have cycling thoughts of uncertainty. Good luck! 😁

Answer

Ok I just have one thing to say. But first, do you two believe in marriage? If not this does not apply, but if you do... you should ask yourself why you would be planning on having a baby when you are not even engaged. If he still hasn’t asked you and set a date then... that shows the level of comitment is not certain between you as it is, and he is right to be pulling out. Usually boyfriend/girlfriend stage means “still figuring out if we want to really commit”.
But again, if you two never planned to even think about marriage then this does not apply of course.

Answer

The pulling out wouldn’t be a problem for me, or the not being ready for a kid. It’s the ‘single parent’ comment that I think is reason to think he doesn’t see a future with you.

Answer

He's obviously not ready for a kid, but relying on the pull out method won't guarantee you won't end up pregnant lmao. You need to tell him that. On the other hand, the single parent comment would concern me, and I feel that's something you need to press him about. He can't make that statement and drop the topic altogether.

Answer

I’m not sure why living together or sharing bills scares you. You should never live with someone or combine your stuff if you aren’t prepared to separate it if necessary. 
Definitely press him on the single parent comment. Just ask, un accusingly, what his concerns are for your future and try to figure out if you two are still on the same page about it. 
If he flips the switch to avoid conflict and starts trying to get you pregnant again, honestly, I’d be very cautious. You really don’t want to make a permanent choice to bring someone into the world based on shaky ground with the topic of your future with him.

Answer

Uhhhh this would definitely make me freak out. It’s like getting a prenup. Makes me think the mindset is that we won’t work out..

Answer

It's possible he just had a change of heart. Just talk to him about it and Express how confused/hurt it made you feel.

Boyfriend changes mind..?

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