So confused...

My cycle has been like clockwork for years. It’s not often that it’s off by a day or two but when it is off, it’s usually around a season change.. Well it’s still Summer and my cycle started 5 days EARLY on the 19th which was a bummer since we’ve been trying for nearly a year and this was during the 2 week wait... My cycle has never started that early and two days before the flow started, I had such a nagging pain in my lower back. The day after, I had a headache that lasted pretty much all day. So when I woke up feeling moist, I was like wth it’s early! I thought I was having implantation cramping and spotting.. Not so. 😞 I passed a quite large clot and felt weak and shaky that morning and the feeling lasted for most of the day. I bled heavily for 2 days, more small clots, then nothing on day 3. Then light bleeding/spotting on day 4 and nothing the next day... I usually don’t cramp at all and my period is never heavy.. Hence my confusion.. That was probably the strangest period for me ever. The large clot and back pain was especially strange. So I began to Google different symptoms and it’s possible that I had a miscarriage. I did not go to see a doctor or anything but I am leaning more towards making that appointment at some point... I just don’t want to hear something that will break my spirit.. I admit it.. I’m scared to go. I needed to vent so for those that read this, please don’t judge me.