I need some fucking help before I go insane.

So long story kinda. Ive been homeschooled for 7 years. I met my bf while I was homeschooled. This year I went back to public school and Im a Junior. My bf HATED the idea, I told him I wanted to go but then I changed my mind. When Im 18 which is next year I am moving in with my bf and since I was homeschooled I could take my school with me. But now I cant. So next semester I was gonna transfer back to homeschooling.

I never told my mother I wanted to go back but she sent me anyways even though I told her no. I was pretty much forced to go back. So school just started and theres this thing called VoTech or MCTI and its basically like a college thing where you learn a skill and you graduate twice with like a degree of something. And its a two year course. Theres no point since Im moving away next year 🤦🏻‍♀️

My parents want me to go and learn hotel lodging and management. Problem is I DONT WANNA FUCKING GO TO VOTECH. they already forced me to go to school and now they are forcing this shit on me too! Just because THEY wanna open a hotel. When I told my bf I wanted to go to school, it wasn’t for this. I wanted to make friends and take piano and a sport. Then I changed my mind like I said before. When I move in with him I was gonna spend my senior year at his old school so Ill be closer to him.

Does this even make sense?

So anyways I got accepted to votech even though theres a huge list. I wont be able to take it next year if I wanted to. Its 2 years so I wont be here but if I was which Im not, Ill get the degree and wont have to spend so much on college. I might hate my classes once they start for real next week. Im being forced to go so that makes me no want to go even more. I want to open a business so this would probbaly help idk. I don’t fucking I know what to do. I just made friends too! And I like my classes! I failed a few so now changing my schedule is really a mess. I would have to take college level math, drop all my electives, move my geometry to a different period, and geometry is my favourite class. It would be same teacher but different people. Its just a mess.

My mother made a stupid comment saying “I don’t even know why we are giving her a choice” her saying that made me not wanna go even more. Fyi I hate my parents so much. Im a slave. I don’t get to make my own choices. Even with this, my fucking bitch ass mother is trying to force me. Her logic is so dumb. Shes like “Im saying that cuz Im actually giving you choices” well her actions contradict it cuz no, I don’t have a choice, shes gonna call guidance and tell him Im going to votech. Watch.

Honestly my life is so much more complicated than this, its been one hell of a year. My parents make me suicidal. This sounds like they are trying to give me an opportunity and I understand that, but this goes way back. Its so much deeper than this. That’s why I don’t want to go.