The train I commute on every day only has two “disability” seats. The other seats are always filled by the first station on the train line, and I get on at the third. One of the two seats was open this morning and I sat down.

I am just about finished bleeding (I hope) from my first miscarriage. I was about 5.5 weeks along. I feel faint and out of sorts. Not terrible or sick or in pain, just generally off and a bit lightheaded (my bp was a little “low” at the dr when she confirmed my pregnancy was ending, 96/68, despite my sky-high anxious pulse). I still have to go to work, and when I’m sitting at my cubicle I can do my job okay.

An older -not elderly, but a bit older than me- woman just asked me to give up my seat (didn’t ask the other seated woman). So I am standing (and these horrible trains also have nothing to hold on to that I can reach- fabric loops 6’ in the air, I am 5’2”).

I’m sure she could also be struggling, and possibly even more privately “disabled” than I am right now, and I am trying to be compassionate towards her. But I sure wish I could sit down, too. 😥 I didn’t feel I could say no to her.

Can someone help me sort out my feelings?