You know that moment when you open your child’s door, and time just kind of freezes? You just see your child laying on their bed. You start to feel a strange tightness in your chest but you don’t leave the room, and shut the door behind you till you can actually see a limb move, or their stomach going up and down. Then when you notice it you slowly walk out, shut the door, and let out a breathe you didn’t know you were holding. That’s when you realize for just one moment your life literally froze, your heart stopped, and you didn’t breathe. For just one moment you could feel, and see exactly how your life would be if that limb didn’t move, and that stomach didn’t go up and down. For just one moment you realized how much one small body can mean so much to you. For just one moment those extremely hard days when they are constantly throwing tantrums, and you just want to run away mean nothing. Life would mean nothing without them. Being a parent is one thing, but literally having the life sucked out of you for just that moment because you aren’t sure if they are breathing that’s something completely different. There is a void in your heart that they now fill, and you can see and feel that void when just for a split second you can’t tell if they are breathing. Parenting may be hard, but I’m sure nothing will ever be as hard as losing a child. My son, and soon to be sons, are literally the heart and light of my life. I never want to find out what it would be like to have the heart ripped out, and the light extinguished.

For just one moment of looking at your child on that bed your world completely stops, and doesn’t start turning again till after they move.

That isn’t just being parent, that is a love greater then anything that no one will really understand. A love that will never die, but always grow.