This is my first baby. I'm due the first week of October! Back in April numerous tests were done. And the same day I found out I was having a little girl was the same day I found out that she had Trisomy 18. A lot of people, including myself had no idea what this was or what this meant. My doctor was extremely informative and I was able to sit down with my OB, a genetics specialist team, and talk about it and get some answers and look at some options. I was given the option to terminate the pregnancy,, because they were able to see a gap in her heart, see that there were multiple spots on her brain, see that there was lots of fluid on the back of her neck, see that one hand was clenched shut and the ofher was beginning to close into a similar clenched fist position. I was told that most babies with this chromosome issue don't typically survive the 1st trimester and usually pass away in the womb, or arrive very early as a stillborn in the early stages of the 2nd trimester. I pray for this unborn baby every single day. And I decided to continue on with this pregnancy, despite the diagnosis because I felt like it would be wrong for me to decide to be medically induced and stop her beating heart. I felt like if God wanted her in heaven with her right then and there, he would do it. I wasn't going to interfere and take God out of the picture. So I continued with this pregnancy. Even though I knew it was really possible that I could lose her early. I didn't buy anything baby related, don't have a registry, absolutely nothing because the future is very very uncertain. But you know what's crazy? This little girl is still kicking and we just hit 35 weeks. That's roughly 23 weeks further along than the doctors thought she would live. I'm so thankful for all the moments I've had with her, feeling her grow inside of me has been the most amazing experience of my life. I love this little one more than words can ever say! However now as I'm clearly larger and waddling, I'm starting to feel sad again. Knowing that she could be born at any time and knowing that I won't have her for long and knowing that soon I'll have to bury her. I continue to pray for her. That she'll be a miracle baby that will pop out and have no traces of trisomy 18 and be a good healthy and happy baby. But I'm a quiet thinker and I'm purposely not getting my hopes up too high just in case. I'm mentally preparing myself and I have been for the past nearly 25 weeks that I won't have my baby forever. It's just really hitting me. Probably hitting me harder because when I first found out, I couldn't feel her or anything. Whereas now, she's moving and squirming and I feel her all the time. I feel more connected to her. It's just tough