I was hit with a big old case of gender disappointment this afternoon. My blood work finally came back and sure enough it wasn't what I was hoping for.

I will love this child no matter what and I'm already adjusting to the fact but I was caught off guard by how badly I felt at first.

My whole pregnancy has been a rollercoaster with low progesterone and then the SCH and so on and so forth. Also my youngest has just gone through an evaluation for delays and the word autism gets thrown around a lot or on the spectrum. They tell me it's likely but can't diagnose as he's tested to young mentally. So it's like being in limbo. I can't face it and deal with it because I don't know but it's like it's behind the bedroom door waiting to spring out and make me pee myself.

I know in a few days I'll be completely adjusted and happy. I was just really surprised because I've never had this to this degree with any of my other three pregnancies.