Is it LDR strain or is it the relationship?

Question

I’m having a hard time telling the difference between fights caused by doing LDR vs. fights that are caused my underlying relationship issues. Does anyone know what I mean? They told me the distance would make things hard. I just don’t know if it’s distance or if it’s us anymore? 
How can you tell? 
We have 3 months left of LDR, should I stick it out and see who we are when we’re not so far apart? Remembering how we were before LDR is getting harder now 😥 
Can anyone out there relate?

Answer

My fiance (now husband) and I actually broke up briefly when we were doing the long distance thing. We had been engaged for well over a year and were waiting on my visa to move to the US and things just kind of piled up. I was living in Ontario, Canada at the time and he was in Washington State. He was working full time and raising three young adults on his own, two of which were in full-on rebellion at the time. I had been going to visit every other month and was not working, but it was driving me crazy, so I took a job in Ottawa, which made it difficult for us to see each other. All the stress just piled up and my parents did not help. They weren't fans of our relationship at the time - my husband is a divorced, full-time single father and I had never been married. He is also 18 years older than I am, so there was that too.
Long story short, we had some significant communication breakdowns that led us to break up. On the bright side, we were completely miserable apart and he reached out to me again, just as a friend at first. He offered to move me back to Saskatchewan, where I had been living prior to moving to Ottawa to stay with my parents for a while. I said yes and we started talking again. We hashed through absolutely everything. When he arrived in Ottawa about a month later, he asked me where my engagement ring was and put it back on my finger. We loaded up his car the next day and left. A couple of months later, my visa arrived and I moved to Washington State, where we got married shortly thereafter.
Fights in long distance relationships tend to happen because communication takes a back seat when you get a chance to see each other. Things that should be discussed get shoved to the side in favour of just spending time together. Have you tried getting back to the things that drew you together in the first place? Are your dreams, goals, and values still the same? Those are things to figure out. If you're still on the same page, then the fights are growing pains and will be worth it in the end. If your goals, etc have changed, it might be time for a very different conversation. Either way, talk to each other and really listen. You'll know what to do when the time comes.
Best wishes! 🙂❤️

Is it LDR strain or is it the relationship?

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