I feel weak and like I’ll never have anything near to a natural birth. (Disclaimer miscarriage)

I just had a miscarriage. I’ve had one previous as well. While I hear a lot of miscarriages are just like super period but both my miscarriages I went into straight up contractions ... this time I had small contractions for almost 24 hours due to medication and had to get a second dose. Then my water broke (had no idea that at 10 weeks that could happen) and it went from 1 minute contractions that didn’t hurt too much to very painful contractions that lasted 2-3 minutes with only 30 seconds or less between. They got bad enough to trigger my vomit reflex, and I got terribly dehydrated and couldn’t keep down pain pills (which did almost nothing). And got some iv drugs and iv fluids. I was so dehydrated that the nurse couldn’t find my veins. The pain was just feeding my emotional anguish and I just wanted to feel nothing. It was just agony that reminded me that my child I desperately wanted was dead.

(Here’s a memorial garden I made. My enter button isn’t working so pictures are how I can break up text here) I feel like birth I’ll be motivated instead of devastated AND I’m ok with some drugs and would really love to use gas and air for pain relief. But how hard this miscarriage was opened my eyes to birth that will be 1000% harder and more painful, so I fear I’ll be too weak to give birth. I feel like I was so weak in how I handled the 48 hours of the major part of my miscarriage and that birth will be so much harder which proves ill weak and can’t do it. (I’m still cramping quite a bit now 2 days later, but it’s more like bad period cramps rather than the contractions I was having) Has anyone had a difficult miscarriage and still had a successful birth? Am I too weak for birth?