Breakup

Two nights ago I broke up with my boyfriend. I didn’t want to. He’s my best friend and my safe place. We’ve been together for almost three years. But in the past couple months when he drinks he has gotten really aggressive and mean. Two nights ago it was the worst it’s ever been. It wasn’t physical at all but he did slap me on the leg once as a joke and now there’s a bruise. But he would make fun of things I said, mock me, and bring up the past to hurt me. He was a completely different person. It broke my heart. By the end he was screaming at me to get out and I told him when he woke up the next day he would regret everything, that he was being an idiot. I ended it and walked out. I even almost left a few times but stayed to try to make things better. But I had had enough. The next day we didn’t speak at all but I put his stuff that was at my house in a trash bag and put it on his front door step. When he saw it he finally messaged me saying he was sorry and I was right and he did regret everything. He’s heartbroken now too, but I don’t think I can forgive him. I think I made the right choice to breakup with him. I see girls let themselves get treated like shit all the time and stick around for it and I wasn’t going to be one of them. I cried the whole time on the way home. Cried all morning. Got called into work and I tried to go but I couldnt keep myself from crying so my manager said I could go home. Now I feel numb. When I get hurt I shut myself off from everyone. I don’t feel like talking to anyone about it. Not my mom, not my friends. I just want to be alone, but at the same time I know I should be with people. I wrote this to vent and get it all out, but if you’ve read this far, any advice for moving forward? I lost my best friend, but it was worth it after seeing a completely different side of him that didn’t care about my feelings and just wanted to scream at me. I’m so sad but now I feel nothing