So last weekend I was supposed to go up to see him (he’s four hours away and we’ve been doing distance for about a year) and meet his parents for dinner so they can celebrate my bday.

On the ride up he calls me and he says he’s not excited for me to come up there like he usually is. And that since I’ve been hanging out with friends for 2 days, he’s realized how much he likes his space and he doesn’t want to worry about me. I was already on my way up and I love his parents. So I was like do you still want me to come and he was like kind of, no I’d rather do this in person. So I get there Friday he’s on his way home from work (I have a key) he’s texting me asking if I want him to pick up pizza and beer. So he comes home and he hugs me and kisses me and he’s like I’m glad you’re here.

We talk about our day we drink some beer eat some pizza go to the pool. Everything is great he’s laughing and all over me.

Update:

He’s telling me he wants to be with me and he loves me and he’s so happy I was there, and we talked about me staying until Monday, since it’s a holiday weekend. Anyway Saturday comes along we are playing car games while going to his parents and laughing he again tells me he wants me and can’t wait to come down next weekend for my birthday and to see my cats. Saturday night is amazing he’s holding me kissing me. Sunday he starts acting weird and annoyed with me. So we go out to the pool but the water was cold so I laid out while he was mowing the lawn. He comes up to me and he’s makes eye contact while saying I do love you and I’m like you just don’t want to be with me? He shifts his eyes and doesn’t say anything. I get in the pool and he’s hugging all over me and I’m like wtf.

Break time sorry...I didn’t realize how emotional just typing this out and reading the words and looking back and it makes my stomach feel like I’m on a non stop roller coaster and my chest hurts and I can’t breath. But I need to get this out because I am suffocating.