And I thought I would share my first ever birth story, which was a rather traumatic experience that I have never really shared.

I have hypertension, so from the beginning my OB said I would have to be induced at 38 weeks. My pregnancy was amazing, I loved every minute of it. The 4th of September 2008 we headed to the hospital at 11pm to start induction. When we got there we were told there was no room for me in the maternity ward, so they eventually found a bed in the labour ward. I really wanted my hubby to stay the night, even tho the nurses weren't too happy, so he stayed an dozed in the armchair. They inserted the little gauze thingy and strapped me up to the monitors and told me to get some sleep. I barely slept because I was uncomfortable on my back and the monitors were super noisy.

5am the next morning the nurse came to get me up and washed because she said the anaesthetist would be there at 7 to give me my epidural. She checked if I had dilated and realised then that the nurse had not put the gauze (not sure what meds it was on there) against my cervix, so literally no progression at all. 😭

Got my epidural and all was good. Didn't feel a single contraction, but the monitor said I was having some pretty strong ones. The nurse was in a very hour or 2 to check me but I was not progressing. My OB came and was concrete that my BP was dropping so much and baby's heart rate was also slowing down. She said if no improvement in an hour (1pm) I would need a c-sec. 1pm came, no progression, heart rate dropped more, as did my BP and I was vomiting terribly. So I was prepped for surgery.

The surgery went well. But I felt like when I saw my baby, he was not mine. Like my body had not registered that baby was born.

Anyhow, they were worried about my BP and only allowed me to hold my son for a few minutes before they took him away. I was mildly delirious and was not allowed to hold him until 3 am the next morning, which is when he breastfed for the first time. After that the nurses were not very helpful at all. I struggled along on my own. When my milk finally came in I got very engorged and my boobs looked line 2 soccer balls. The paed said my son is not getting enough milk and said I have to put him on formula. Then she also said he has jaundice and admitted him to NICU on the Monday night. I cried and cried.

I was discharged the Tuesday and cried the whole way home, without my baby. My boobs were so engorged that I needed to have physio on them. I would pump and pump for ages and after 3 pump sessions had about 20ml of milk altogether.

My son was eventually discharged on the Thursday. And after that is a while long story about months and months of PPD and the terrible service I got from my Dr. Which I won't bore you all with. But I'm so proud of this little boy, with his beautiful dimples. Love him so much.

My boy now