I had to say goodbye to my best friend last night and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. She’s been with me my whole life and I don’t remember a time without her in my life.

Every time I think about it I start crying. Every time I walk outside I expect to see her. When I get home I still call out her name so that I can say hi and tell her I love her before I go inside. I went to feed her tonight before I realized I’ll never get to do that again. Her food bowl is still sitting on the porch full of food. And her water bowl is still there slightly empty where she had drank some. It all just feels like one bad dream, like if I were to walk outside rn she’d be there wagging her tail happy to see me. I don’t think I’ve come to terms with that fact that she’s gone yet. Today I picked up her leash so I could take her for a walk cause that was one of her favorite things. When we took her to the vet it was so hard to leave her behind cause she hated when we left her. I can’t stop looking at my camera roll looking at all the pictures and videos I have of her cause I’m so scared I’ll forget what she’s like. I feel like a part of me is missing. I can’t eat or drink anything and it’s hard for me to sleep. Idk what I’m going to do without her. I didn’t get to say goodbye. And yesterday morning I didn’t stop to tell her that I loved her and tell her goodbye because I was running late. I’ll never get to see her again and it’s killing me. There’s such a huge hole in my life now and idk what to do.