You know life is good when....

You can’t leave the house without an incontinence pad and a sick bucket - after 8 weeks of HG it’s still hanging on in there! Every time I vomit I pee myself too just to add to the experience (hence the incontinence pad!)

You lay in a warm bath googling pregnancy safe constipation and pile remedies and end up being told that nothing is safe but you can take a risk! If it’s not bad enough that I can’t poop, my backside feels like it’s falling out and there’s nothing I can do about it!!!!

You can no longer eat the foods you love... cheese, yoghurts, milk, watermelon (strangely) to name a few because when you do, the baby objects by setting off violent vomiting which then leads to peeing yourself and mortal embarrassment wherever you go!

You’re constantly being told how wonderful pregnancy is. It’s not! It sucks! The past four months have been hell! I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I have aches in places I didn’t know exist, I need to buy shares in Tena lady and anusol and I’m too tired to even bother with matching clothes, heck, too tired to bother with clothes full stop!

But.... there is light at the end of this insanely long tunnel, in a few months I will have a bundle of joy that’ll keep me awake, drain me of time, energy and money and by the time said bundle hits teenage years I will honoured with the disgruntled disinterest that all parents continue the struggle for!