WARNING THIS IS FAIRLY LONG AS YOU CAN SEE, I DONT EXPECT ANYONE TO READ THIS BUT ITS JUST A RANT AS IF THIS IS A DIARY.

So for starters my ex boyfriend of a year left for the marines, he enlisted while we were dating but broke up with me so I could see the world without being tied down to him while he was gone. Right when things started to feel better without him he came back into my life and I let him. Even though we were talking again he told me that we should still stay separate because he still felt the same about holding me back. He understood that while he’d be gone for basic training that there was the possibility that I could find someone and he wanted me to jump on the first good connection I had. He left for basic about 4 weeks ago and since then I’ve made up my mind that he was probably playing mind games trying to keep me wrapped around his finger and seem like the perfect guy while I just sit and wait for him like a hopeful puppy. I just recently started talking to another guy and he’s literally perfection that it seems too good to be true. (It probably is). We met on tinder and we haven’t gone a day without talking. We’ve hung out twice already with the second time being sort of a date and both times were so much fun that I just laid in bed wanting to redo it over and over again. We agreed to tell our parents about each other even though it may seem early but we both don’t want to waste any time. I told my parents about him yesterday and they want to meet him over dinner at our house this weekend. My mom isn’t thrilled 1. Because he lives an hour away but also 2. Because she doesn’t want me to throw away the relationship I had with my ex boyfriend (even though she knows he’s the one who broke up with me). She still wants me to write letters to him and wants me to go to his graduation still. If this guy and I get serious then I won’t feel comfortable going to his graduation and neither will he feel comfortable about me going to my ex’s big day of being a marine. This guy makes me so happy and today was the first time that I cried since I met him. I usually would cry everyday not really knowing why but it probably has to do with the depression that hasn’t been bad since 2016. This guy makes me laugh and smile uncontrollably and he makes me feel so good about myself. (Don’t get me wrong, I love being single and taking everything slow and not focusing on devoting my time to someone besides myself). I forget all the time that I’m 18 (just turned this year) and I don’t need my parents approval for everything. If I want to see where things go with this guy then that’s what I’m going to do if it’s what it takes for me to not have dark thoughts and cry sessions so much.