Incontinence during sex?

Hi ladies, this is super embarrassing for me since I’ve never been taken seriously on this and I’ve always had this issue. Ever since I started masturbating, with penetration specifically, I always urinate if I keep myself relaxed. And I know it’s urination because I am no where near an orgasm when it happens, it’s yellow, and smells like urine. And it happens even if I go to the bathroom before sex, and it is always A LOT. It’s not even a leak it is purely full blown peeing myself. I am able to stop it from happening if I tense up, but then any “good” feeling that can lead up to an orgasm goes away too, and I instantly become dry. It also happens during sex, but I clench to make sure I don’t urinate on my partner so I’ve never had an orgasm with him and am too embarrassed to tell him why. It also can happen more than once, sometimes 2-3 times before I give up. I’ve talked to my gyno before and all she told me it was nothing and gave me a “prescription” on how to have an orgasm. I’m so frustrated and it makes me cry. I’m 20 and have been having this issue since I was 13 (I started masturbation early). I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried kegals and it doesn’t really help because in no other scenario except for penetration do I have urination incontinence. Also the last time I used a toy for penetration, afterwards I was feeling around to see what could be wrong and i noticed my urethra was very open, so open I could almost fully put my fingertip in the hole with no issue. Should I be worried about that? I have a history of sexual abuse and am wondering if that’s maybe why?Sorry this is long, but thanks for reading my vent, and if you know what’s wrong or have any advice please let me know!