please read

i have depression, and anxiety. i self harm. and i need help. i can’t ask for it though. here’s just what’s going through my head. i need something to take my mind off some stuff so here it is, my mom works away, and i have to stay with my grandparents, my dad also lives here but hes never here, never really bothers with me. i stopped cutting when my mom found out because it broke her heart. everything was fine until december last year, my sister won’t go back to see my mom (nobody knows why) my mom has tried multiple times to get in contact with her but she won’t talk to my mom, so that made my mom very upset because her father isn’t a nice person. so i’ve always been there for my mom but we grew closer when my sis left, it feels like i’m holding everything in the house down by myself, i feel like i’m the one holding us together in some ways. my mom recently went away to work 3 days ago, and i’m so stressed, she failed her test to work so now she has to find another job. school just started and i’m very very stressed, i’m stressed about her working, cause if she doesn’t find a job then we will be homeless because that’s our only source of income, i’m stressed because i’m depressed, i’m stressed because of school and i’m fucking stupid, i just need someone to talk to. i feel like i’m alone in this even though i know i’m not. and i really have the urge to cut. but i won’t.