Okay so I don’t really know how to start this. So three years ago I met this girl let’s call her L. We are now best friends. When I met her she told me her crush. Let’s call him M. So this other girl would play pranks on M, to annoy L. I never took part in this. Usually I would go fix what the other girl did and apologize a bunch since L was to scared to. Well L asked him out three times and he said no all three times. They did stuff like throw Ls lunchbox at his table so she had to go back and get it. Well instead of her getting it it was always me who got it for her. And then I would apology for my friends. And one time I even had to introduce myself to his mom as her because the other girl told his mom that L was so in love with M, so L asked me to say I was L. Well now three years later.... I like him. Like a LOT. I can’t help it. Whenever he gets near me I get super nervous. And when he talks to me I freak out because he’s actually talking to me. But the problem is L still likes him. She doesn’t like him much but still. Well we played this game and if I lost I had to ask M out because they thought it would be funny that I would have to ask Ls crush out. They had no idea I liked him too. L gave me permission to ask him out because I didn’t want to and she’s like would it help if I gave you permission to and I said yes. My other bestie let’s call her R. I told her a story about him and how I totally embarrass myself it went like this. Me and my other friend K messed up in class and made a huge mess. Oops we were soooo embarrassed. We later I put the wrong thing in so I had to clean it. The M came up to me and said something (not entirely sure what it was) but it sounded like I did something wrong again and he was nice about it tho and I don’t even know for sure what he said. I got super nervous and walked away... I told R this and she’s like wait do you like him. I freaked out and she figured out I did and K was there when it happens so they both figured it out. Then my other friend figured it out. L still doesn’t know tho. I fell like a horrible person liking her crush. She doesn’t like him as much now but still. I really like him tho and can’t help it. The dance is coming up R and K are encouraging me to ask M out or my other crush, C, who I don’t like that much. I can’t do that tho because C will say no and even my friend know he will because he’s like super popular and I’m well not and also we are not entirely sure if he has a girlfriend or not sooo yeah no not asking him. And I can’t ask M because I can’t do that to L. But can someone tell me, am I an awful person? And does anyone have some advice? Sorry it’s so long.