Nothing i do will ever be enough

Before i offically became your gf, you told me you were a divorce twice. I accepted it and was willing to be your gf. No one from my side accepted or approved us of dating, but i still dated you. I was forced to choose between you, my dreams, or my family. I chose you. A few mths of dating, i got forced to marry you, because i was a run away. I ran away from getting hit, getting my belongings taken away from me. None of my friends would help me, but you, so i went to you. I was found and it was either i lied about you kidnapping me, or i marry you. I didnt have a choice, but to marry you because you never kidnapped me. I gave up myself, my body, my dreams, career, school, family, and friends for you. I wanted to be the best, you ever had, i wanted to help you, i wanted to complete you. But i realized that everything ive done for you, wasnt enough. I was second best to your ex wife. So i left, i began having things fall into place. I went back to school, my relationship w my families and friends improved, i met new ppl, got into my career, got back into shape. I even had a lot of men wanting to be more than friends w me. But then, you came back to me, begging for me to come back. You promise me you will change, go to counseling, get serious help, and go to therapy. I came back, nothing was done, you were still the same abusive man you are. I again, lost everything ive accomplished. You became worst after our 1st child together. You blame me for the problems weve had in our marriage. You said i left you for no reason. You never saw your faults. Your ex wife was still best. I again, try to change myself, be 20x more loving and affectionate than i was. I fixed myself nicely for you. But i realize that no matter what i do for you, it will never be enough. It will never change your heart or mindset about me. It will never open your eyes. I will always be the last best, i will never be enough. I am not worthy to you. Everything was a lie. You are only using me as a rebound. I have your body, your body is with me, but not your heart. I just ask that God will make a way out for me.