Let me start off by saying my boyfriend is bisexual. We’ve only been together since last November but we already have a baby due in December and also live together.

From the beginning we both were upfront about our past and he and I both agreed that it’s okay to keep in touch with our exes that we’ve remained friends with, as long as it’s just FRIENDLY conversation. Luckily for us both we only had 1 each that we actually still communicated with.

Now I know my conversations with my ex are harmless. He’s aware of my relationship status, growing family, and since I’ve been with my boyfriend we only hit each other up like once every few months to catch up on each other’s lives. & I also have not met up with him at all since the start of my relationship. The reason we work so well though is because I’ve set up a lot of boundaries in the beginning so there would be no confusion and no mixed emotions.

Now, on to my boyfriend. I trust him. He treats me like I’m the only girl in the world and hasn’t given me a reason to doubt him. Because of that, I’m normally not the type to snoop, but honestly I just got a little curious about how close he and his ex are. I asked him for his phone while he was sitting right next to me and he gave it to me with no problem (another reason why I trust him so much)

So after I get his phone I immediately go through the messages between him & his ex... who is a man by the way.... I instantly get caught off guard by the amount of times his ex calls him “babe”. I say to myself hmm, I need to do more looking. So I did. Truth is they don’t have conversations of getting back together, or continue to express their feelings for one another, which I am relieved about, but they talk.... a lot.

What I mean by a lot is like 3 times a month through texting, with phone calls in between. They’ve also met up like 2 times since we’ve been together...... I don’t know if it’s worth mentioning but I also found out my boyfriend did try to bring me over his place once for us to meet, but his ex ended up not being home. (Mind you guys, I knew nothing of this until I read their texts)

Another thing I found out that his ex invited him on a trip next March, and my boyfriend told him that he’ll see if he could come. The ex boyfriend also said, “If you decide to bring your girl you’ll need about $5000 saved for the trip” and my boyfriend replied, “Oh, she wouldn’t be coming. Lol” LIKE WTF. Who would think it’s okay to go out of the COUNTRY with an ex, without their partner along?

So, I don’t have any evidence that he is cheating.. but I do feel like it’s odd how close they are. When I agreed to them staying in touch I was doing it because I understood. I honestly thought they’d have similar boundaries that I’ve created with my ex, but obviously they don’t.

I honestly dont know how to bring up this situation since it seems like I’m going back on my word and being hypocritical. And I don’t like the idea of giving him an ultimatum, because I know men HATE those. And honestly I’m scared of what he might say. Like here I am, just came into his life less than a year ago, and I’m asking him to cut someone off he’s known for well over 5 years.

What the hell do I do?