I guess I’m just here to vent a little. I am new to this app and was just looking for people to talk to because I don’t feel comfortable telling anyone else in real life.

So I’m in my first year of college and I had to take an Oral/Interpersonal Communications class, so basically a speech class.

Today we were doing impromptu speeches and the topic was “One of the best things and one of the worst things that have happened to you.”

We had 20 minutes to prepare. At first I was fine writing it down and my instructor even said that in order to do good in this class, sometimes you had to tell things that come from the heart and get people to connect with you.

So for the best thing, I chose the day my nephew was born.

Choosing the worst thing was....the worst.

I couldn’t think of anything significant in my life other than the time my dad got into a really bad car accident when I was younger. It wasn’t really a sensitive topic when I thought about it but when I got up there I don’t know what happened.

I was done talking about my nephew and moved into the “worst thing that has happened to me” part of my speech. I got a few sentences in and my voice started to fade and crack. I knew I was going to cry and I was trying so hard to just push it back and forget about it, but I just couldn’t talk anymore. I stood there for what felt like forever with my hand on my forehead covering my face and repeating “sorry” over and over as I tried to just take a deep breath. I tried to get myself to keep going by saying “sorry I told myself I wasn’t going to cry” and then I laughed hoping I could switch my mood around and just fly through the rest of the speech, but nope. I was just about to walk away and give up when I just barely squeezed the words out and finished my speech.

I walked to my seat and everyone was clapping but one particular person was clapping extra hard to make sure I heard her. My mind was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t even realize what she was trying to do. I barely know these people so it was strange for someone to do that, especially for me. I think she even started crying too....

I sat down and my whole body was shaking, I started seriously contemplating leaving the class and just going home after that, but I stayed, hoping I, and everyone else could just forget about it.

I guess, to be honest, what I’m looking for is just some kind words and reassurance that I’m okay, because my brain likes to tell me otherwise.