I feel like such a terrible friend. Everyone in my friend circle is either married, or engaged... And I do mean everyone. My best friend just got engaged over the weekend.

While I'm very happy for all of them, I'm also very jealous.

My whole life, I've always been the "ugly friend," or 2nd choice, and even then, when guys showed interest in me, it was only because they wanted to sleep with me. I've had one actual boyfriend in my whole life, and one relationship that was extremely abusive.

I'm jealous that at 27, I still don't know what it feels like to have someone be infatuated with me or even interested in me other than for the idea of hooking up.

So while I'm happy for my friends, I feel like I'm just as sad for myself.

It's not about "love yourself before you can love someone else..." I do love myself, and think that I'm a great catch with so much I want to give to someone else.

I understand that comparing myself to others is detrimental, but I can't help it when everyone is moving on to that in love and starting a family phase in their lives, and I'm just excited when I get a text back haha.

Anyways, I guess there's really no point to this. Just needed to get it out I suppose.

Y'all have a good day 😊😊