Please excuse me I need to vent.

I miss you.

I miss my best friend, I miss the way you used to chase me, the way you showed me how much you cared, they way we used to play, the way we used to go on little fun dates, and just the way that you looked at me with so much love. I was scared of that changing, scared of losing you, scared of you no longer caring, scared of you being the one who would hurt me.

You have hurt me and I've hurt you to. It was all just little things that I believed brought us closer and made us grow.

I never wanted to risk you breaking my heart. So I'd rather date assholes who I know would hurt me so I could prepare for the heartbreak that were as easy to move on from.

Now I'm yours I love you more than I could ever imagine and you don't look at me the same, dont talk to me the same, I'm just another object in your life.

You treat me as if I need to be your mother who let's you do what you want but I need to be here cook and clean for you and take care of you because you apparently can't do it yourself. I do have to do the stuff you like even if it doesn't involve me but you refuse to meet me half way and find stuff we both enjoy.

I must jump when you command but when I need help and ask because I have so many different things to do such as cook clean food the animals walk them laundry and you're sitting playing on your phone makes you the God of all men and I'm lucky to have you.

You aren't my bestfriend anymore you aren't the person I used to know and you aren't who I fell in love with. I miss you and my heart breaks that my fears of losing you came true. The one thing I used to be able to do is talk to you about any and everything. Now if I try its pointed out what I do wrong how I'm far from perfect and how I just want to start fights.

I miss you.