I feel so alone.

I was recently diagnosed with PCOS about a month ago, and was put on Metformin; not because my doctor heard me when I said I was 130 days late for my period or because my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for almost a year. But because I was showing small signs of insulin resistance & I can stand to lose 15 lbs. My bloodwork came back normal. My ultrasound showed that I don’t have any cysts, but I do have cystic-spaces. Whatever that means...

My other option was birth control, even though I told him I went off birth control for a reason; to try to get pregnant.

Which, whatever. Metformin could possibly help me have a baby. It’s helped other women with PCOS, so why can’t it help me? Right?!

OPKs don’t work for people like me. They’ll tell me I’m ovulating, but I’m really not. If I was, I’d be having periods. Another day passes, another negative pregnancy test, but no surprises from Aunt Flo...

I’m taking all of these supplements, Diary. A prenatal, cinnamon capsules, Pink Stork Fertility Blend.... And nothing. I heard Myo-Inositol does good things for women with PCOS, so I’ll be trying that next. But when will the madness end?

Nobody else I know has what I have. I can’t talk much about it with my friends, as they have no idea what I’m going through. They’re not even on the same page of wanting kids right now like me.

I’ve joined support groups on Facebook, which has helped somewhat. My husband is sweet. He says we’ll have our own baby soon, he just knows it. He says maybe it’s not my fault we’re not getting pregnant; it could be him. But that doesn’t change the fact that my body isn’t doing the things it should be. My husband is kind and accommodating, but I wish he knew what it was truly like. He asks if there’s anything he can do to make me feel better. I wish I could say yes. I wish this heartache would go away.

I wish I didn’t feel so alone.