Anyone else have a shitty relationship with their father?

Question

I couldn’t be more angry right now. Ever since I was small my dad was always my biggest enemy. You’re supposed to grow up and see him as the first guy who’d love you unconditionally but he’d never show it to us. He’d never spend time with us, always make us feel like shit, constantly started fights with my mom and would laugh when she obviously got upset, he never told my sister or me that he loved us..
For 20 years of my life he was someone I despised. Recently my mom caught him spending frivolous amounts of money on hotels, dinners, and gifts without us. They sold the house, went their separate ways and I haven’t heard from him since. And I couldn’t be happier for my mom, she’s living her best life now without him holding her back. 
I found out from my grandma though that he says he tries calling me but I never answer cause I’m mad at him. He’s never called me once. He also refuses to get the papers for the divorce because he doesn’t want to spend his fucking money for it.
It makes me upset that all my life he treated me like I wasn’t his daughter, his own fucking blood, but the girl he cheated on my mom with has kids and he gives them everything. It hurts, you know? I grew up with a selfish man who wouldn’t give me one minute of his attention but these strangers get the thing I’ve always wanted. 
My cousin is on a cruise with his side of the family and she posted a picture of everyone, including the woman. My stomach dropped seeing her with him. Does anyone know how I can move on from this? I want to be mature and let it go but it’s hard when all he’s done is hurt my family. It’s painful knowing you weren’t good enough for your own dad. I’m sorry if I sound like a brat

Answer

After my parents divorced we stayed with my father awhile. Over Christmas break when I was 10 I had a serious stomach bug that was unexplainable. Christmas night he called my mom and told her she needed to take me because he couldn’t handle me anymore. 
He always wished my brother a Happy Birthday, But was never around for mine. 
He owes my mother $10,000 in child support, which he has spent time in jail for. 
He stole $30,000 from his best friend that was in a coma. Then stole $10,000 from the trailer park he lived in. He used all of it on hookers from the Philippines rather than giving anything to my mother. 
When I announced I was pregnant he contacted he and tried to apologize for everything he has done. All of the words out of his mouth sounded like the same excuses my ex would give me when my ex cheated on me or let me down. 
I’ve broken all contact. He’s seen pictures of my child because of my brother. I will do everything possible to make sure he doesn’t meet my kid. I don’t care that he’s “still my father” and he “apologized”. This has been 13 years of let downs. I don’t need my son wondering why he’s not good enough just like the way my father made me feel. 
I know how you feel. I really do.

Answer

You will always be good enough. He wasn’t your dad, he was your biological father. A dad is supposed to love you no matter what and take care of you. You deserved a dad and he is not it at all. If you don’t love him or feel any connection to him, it’s best to leave him alone forever. Maybe one day he’ll regret not being there for you, maybe he won’t. He can have his girlfriend and you will have your mom and your sister, you will have your family. Family is the most important thing in this world, to me at least but everyone has their own opinions. If anyone didn’t deserve something it’s him.

Answer

I pretend my dad doesn’t exist basically hasn’t my entire life so why stop now if he’s that insignificant in your life and only makes you upset then let it go. No reason letting it get to you, your life is soooooo much better without him.

Answer

I couldn’t imagine what this feels like & for that I am truly sorry.  
I would talk to whoever you deem to be a higher power & ask that you are taught a lesson on forgiveness. It takes a lot to forgive something this hurtful but I’m sure you can do it. Do it for you. You deserve a heart at peace.

Answer

My dad left my mom shortly after I was born. He scheduled abortion appointments for her three separate times to get rid of me. Thank god she could never go through with it. He never paid child support or anything either.  23 years later and I’ve heard absolutely nothing from him. Not a text, call, FB message or nothing. And after doing some FB digging I found out he’s got two other kids. He’s got photos with them and they look so happy. Everyone always said I look more like him, and there’s a pic of a girl (looks like she’s in middle school about) and she looks so much like I did when I was that age. And it kills me. It makes me so damn angry that he could just act like I don’t even exist like that. 
But at the same time, I’m happy with myself and the way I’ve turned out. I know I’d be very different if he’d been around. So in a way I guess I’m kinda glad he was never there. 
I know how you feel. He was such a bad thing for you and your mom. Letting go of it will be hard, but when you do things will get much better.

Answer

I've never had any luck with my dad. He left when I was 2 and has been in and out of my life. I'm 20 now and can't even have a conversation without feeling awkward like I'm talking to a complete stranger.

Answer

Yup my dad can suck it

Answer

I won’t bore u with my story but growing up my dad very obviously favoured my sister, and I knew it from very early on ( he’d call to speak to her and not me, he would buy her presents and not me, it was an awful feeling, even now in our 30’s they have a close relationship n I haven’t spoken more than a couple words to him over the last 10 yrs, I just made peace with it one day, there’s nothing wrong with me, he’s just shit 🤷🏻‍♀️once you make peace with it it’s easy to move forward, it was for me anyway. Maybe see a professional to help get closure

Anyone else have a shitty relationship with their father?

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