I feel angry yet...I feel like I knew it..someone help

Bf got drunk I decided while he was asleep I would unlock his phone to look through and well...I found some shit

He’s literally sexting with some person on Snapchat...and I’m pretty sure he’s been sending nudes to her and I’m pretty sure she’s sending them as well....I mean I feel like I should be crying but I’m not....I knew it I just knew he was up to something I just never had the guts to say anything 2 fucking years I spent with this asshole and it’s been approximately a year since I’ve been having this doubt but no I just wouldn’t listen to myself and told myself to suck it up.

Should I just dump his ass the moment he wakes up from his drunken state...he’s living with me...I have half a mind to let his mom know because apparently she loves me.

I found LOTS of nudes in his camera roll...he’s a fucking piece of shit....back when the relationship was somewhat new I sent nudes and I wanna find them to delete them all

What really pisses me the fuck off is that I helped him soo much and this is the way I get treated?! I fucken knew I should’ve ended this shit relationship the moment I started getting my suspicions I literally wasted so much time with him.

I don’t even care if the nudes are old he fucking kept them so that still cheating right. I mean old as in way back in our relationship...like guys I was away from him for a whole summer and there’s so many pictures during that time I was gone....I feel so stupid for letting it go for as long as it did...why couldn’t I have just been strong and spoke out about my suspicions long ago...I was fearful of him in a way because I feel like if I said something ( I have spoken in a measly way about some girl) he would always throw it back at me and he’ll say and “what about you”

I’ve been faithful to him this whole time...he would accuse me of cheating...at one point I even told him ( I remember I felt angry so I guess that’s why I got the guts to tell him something) “you’re just projecting, you’re saying I’m doing all these things but you’re the one who’s actually doing shit” and I remember I felt triumphant because he stayed silent for a moment...that pause he took literally went flying over my head, I had caught him in his shit right there.

I feel a little gross because we were having sex...although I’m glad I didn’t always give it up and stuck to my ground when I didn’t want it and I’m also feeling good at the fact that I never sent anymore nudes when he asked for them. He’d get angry with me...I remember he even told me “just don’t complain later on” and I’m assuming for all the fucking girls who’ve sent him nudes is what he meant...maybe he thought I’d see them one day and he would blame it on me because I wouldn’t send nudes.

Guys like what am I gonna do now? I know I don’t want him in my apartment...but he has no car... his family lives in California...he has all his shit here...

I haven’t slept a wink so far...I woke up at 4 or 5 in the morning and stayed awake the whole day and now it’s 4:18am...I have 2 classes today gotta be at school at 8:30am....My heart has been beating fast the whole time I was waiting for him to fall asleep and it still won’t fully calm down....

Can’t believe I was feeling bad/guilty for unlocking his phone with the intention of looking through it..I thought nah he’s not doing anything...but you know I got the feeling that I had to....and you know else earlier today he got angry with me because I need to more”ladylike” getting out of my car because apparently my ass was hanging out...? Like what...I got angry I was wearing jeans and a shirt...no way was my ass hanging out.

I know what he really wanted me to do was to pull my shirt down some more so it “covers” my butt because there was a guy standing in front of my car with a lady and child....he even called me retarded.

.....I’m letting out my frustrations on here.

Well didn’t sleep almost time to get ready for class....

Wonder if he’ll be awake before I leave both classes or will I be waiting for him to wake up when I get home

Guys I just thought of this...what if i message the girl who he was sexting with on Snapchat i remember the username.....but then again what would I say...

So while I was in class he called me...pretty sure it was him because his number is the only one I receive that says caller ID (still don’t know why it does that even though I have it under his name) I of course didn’t answer cause I was in class and then once my next class rolled around I noticed there was no message, nothing at all...so once that class was over I headed home and to find him asleep...probably passed out again....guys I don’t know how to bring this whole thing up...should I wait until he approaches me or do I go to him? how do I start of the conversation? I’m kinda scared of how he’ll react because I know that he’ll know that I looked through his phone....

Guys I’ve never gone through anything like this....this guy was literally my first real relationship...I don’t even know if I should call it that because what if he didn’t even see it that way....I feel pathetic