How can I save my marriage??

Question

Just warning it is kinda long. Okay so long story short, me and my Husband have bad 2 back to back miscarriages and we haven’t had any luck conceiving since our last one Back in April and it’s definitely put a strain on our marriage. We don’t ever talk anymore, we are not intimate anymore hardly at all, we hardly ever spend time together. He’s constantly on his phone, his PlayStation, or messing around with his truck.. pretty much just anything he can do to not have to be around me. Well here lately (last 3 months) we’ve only been having sex 3-4 times a month and everytime we do I hate for him to touch me . Like when he goes to touch my vagina I flinch and when I finally let him I feel NOTHING at all. No pleasure, no emotion. It’s like my clit is paralyzed and can’t feel anything and all I can is pray that he’ll quit touching me soon. I seriously lay there like a dead person. I don’t what’s going on with my marriage but I don’t feel like it’s gonna last much longer😔😭 any tips on how to save my marriage would help. And before anyone says try talking to him, I have multiple times and all he says is “well idk what to do” “I don’t know what’s wrong with you” like it’s my fault.

Answer

If I were in your situation, I would want to reach out to some outside help. It sounds like the losses (so sorry) have not completely been dealt with and the grief is affecting your relationship. I think it would be healthy to seek grief counseling and marriage counseling. And yes, it is worth it.

Answer

My husband and I went through this minus the miscarriages. Seek outside help. It’s a safe place with out pointing fingers or getting defensive. It helped 100% it’s like a totally different marriage

Answer

You both need to go to marriage counseling and personal counseling would help for you with coping with the miscarriages.

Answer

Sometimes, things can’t be saved. I’ve gone through the same thing, down to the back to back miscarriages. It was to the point where we became roommates versus spouses, never had full conversations, never spent time together, never felt that “spark” or that connection like we used to. Sex became boring, exactly how you described it. It’s not like I lost my libido, I simply realized id lost my libido with HIM and wasn’t physically attracted to him anymore like I used to be. If you’ve talked to him, then there’s not much you can do; You can’t put in 100% of the effort, he has to try too. And if he doesn’t, then that only should solidify what you already know deep down. 
Marriage is beautiful. Divorce is beautiful. You cannot make misery out of EVERYTHING. Learn to love the good and love the bad too 💞 & most importantly, love yourself!!

Answer

Well the last half is on you, what’s happening to make you feel that way? Are you emotionally detached from him? Do you resent him? What’s happening there. I’m so sorry about the miscarriages and the strain it had put on your marriage. I do wonder if the reason he doesn’t want to be around you is because it reminds him of the pain, or maybe he doesn’t know how to mourn or feel.

How can I save my marriage??

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