Growing up i had an abusive relationship with my parents. My father was physically and verbally abusive to both my mother and me as far back as i can remember. my mother was very manipulative, selfish and narcissistic. After breaking free and creating distance, the toxic behaviors continued. this is now going on 20 years. 20 years of constant "it wont happen again" and the famous lets pretend it didnt happen instead of solving it, or the im going to deny everything and blame you for calling me out on my behaviors... well me and my fiance were trying to be good people and let them meet their granddaughter. she was born not breathing, with an infection, had aspirated etc so she has very swollen airways and is super sensitive right now. we asked for family to please not wear perfumes/colognes or smoke because it irritates her airways, which causes her to have a hard time breathing so she cant eat and that affects her blood sugar problem. no kisses or anyome whos even questionably sick please wait because shes super prone to infection right now. the LAST thing we want is to be back in the hospital for another week... well they literally disrespected all of it. they showed up DOUSED in perfume and cologne so bad it made our nose hurt, they brought my 5 year old sister who was sick and coughing all over, and she literally treated us like shit and like we didnt exist and showed her delusional side BAD. shes been complaining since i was pregnant that i took her right to another baby and my whole family has said please no you cant take care of the last 2 youve had so far apart from myself... she kept calling herself mom and my dad, dad towards my daughter saying "want mommy to hold you? heres daddy" talking about them then would go "oops guess im not used to it... yet she was like trying to turn her back and hide from us and take the baby as far as possible and was ignoring everything we asked her to stop and not do. we got them to leave fairly quick because we dont like much to do with them anyways and they had pissed us off to high hell. she says she WILL be here wednesday. i said we'll see, and she follows with "i will be. ill text you" i said "we will see i said." and she responded sarcastically with "yeah okay. ill be here". well finally i lost it on her. told her her toxic behaviors from my childhood that never changed are inexcusable anymore and for my familys health and safety we are keeping distance and boundaries. weve tried at least 40 times in the last year to talk and get them to figure things out but they refuse to. they cannot stop abusing and trying to manipulate and control and guilt us into getting their way. so i finally drew a line for me and my familys well being. now she is bringing our other family into it to guilt me and say shes about to lose it shes tried so hard yada yada when she hasnt tried at all. she never even talked to us until the baby was born. the last we interacted i was 8 months pregnant and she slapped me in the face for no reason because she was mad i wouldnt let her plan my fiances daiper party. i hate that i may lose my other family but i just cannot bring myself to allow the toxicity or abuse in my life any longer amd she treats my fiance like shit and tries acting like he doesnt exist. its making me crazy and i just want them to leave us alone and go away😪