So my daughter was diagnosed with a bowel disease when she was two days old. I haven't really been able time to bond with her much. Last night was the first night I've spent alone with her and it wasn't too bad. I have been trying to breast feed her and it isn't going well. She knows what she's doing but I'm not getting the hang of it. She's only latched on a couple of times and I know I'll get there, but I just feel like I've failed. The only reason I can't go home is because of the feeding side of things. I've been adamant that I want to breast feed, I want that bond I see other women have with their babies. The nurse suggested bottle feeding her and I really don't want to. She is currently being fed breast milk through a tube. I feel so overwhelmed when I have all eyes on me when I'm trying to feed my baby, it was to the point where I had to ask everyone to leave me. I tend to feel like this when visitors come to.

I see how everyone else is with my baby and I get jealous, her own mother - can you imagine. I'm struggling so much, trying to stay strong and get into mummy mode. I can't even do little things like cheer her on when she's done something, I just freeze up. I honestly don't know what's wrong with me

😕