You would think that by now, after having a second baby, i would know and remember how quickly friends disappear during pregnancy and after the baby’s born and yet it surprises me every time.

I have two beautiful babies and an amazing husband who has gone above and beyond the call of daddy hood to help me with the kids and to help me feel like a person again and not just a mother, I couldn’t be more blessed.

Yet at times I couldn’t feel more alone, like today my son and husband are out having a guys day and I choose to stay home with my baby girl and get some laundry done. After I was done I thought maybe Katie and I will go out and do something as well, but realized there weren’t many options so I thought of friends to visit... of course my mind starts wandering and I realize I have no one to visit due to friends vanishing and avoiding me since being pregnant and having my baby as they did in the past. I figured it would be different this time because they knew how alone I felt after my first baby, but of course unless your up for drinking and staying out all night their not interested.

I’m sure your all thinking, well she’s not really your friend if she acts that way, my husband tells me every time. But as new young mothers it’s not as if we have time to go out and meet people. In a small rural community like mine their aren’t mommy play groups, and the people who do have children the same age you already know and well don’t like. Atleast that’s how it is here, everyone knows everyone.

It’s days like this I wish my friends haven’t drifted so far, and I know they don’t realize or notice that they do it, but it still hurts either way. It hurts in a way that makes me not want to reach out for them, because I’m upset that they have in a sense abandoned me at a time when I’ve needed them most. Specifically one who hasn’t even asked about or has come to meet my daughter and it a way it breaks my heart and it feels like they don’t care about something that is such a big part of me.

Whether this gets read or not, I want other new mothers who are going through something similar to know that your not alone in feeling like this, whether it’s your first, second, third or seventh baby, your not alone.